His Voice is Gentle

A while ago I was sitting in my living room and reading Jesus Calling. I was working on being still and spending time in the presence of Jesus. This particular time was hard for me. It scares me to come into the presence of Jesus. It's a big deal. I sat there and talked with Jesus about why it scared me. For a long time I always felt like being in the presence of Jesus meant I would be scolded, that I would be read a list of things I was doing wrong, that every thing in my life would be turned upside down.

In that moment, Jesus re-wrote my story and broke that lie in me. It was made very clear to me that that is not how he wants to communicate with me. He reminded me of how my mom talks to me, especially when I'm stressed out or overwhelmed. She uses a gentle voice, a voice of reason. Over the years my mom has learned which communication styles I respond best to, and she wants me to succeed, so that is how she communicates with me.

Example: When Tyler and I flew back home from Joplin at Christmas I was sick, feeling like I was going to throw up all the way home. We were almost to the airport and I was concerned I wasn't going to make it. I got out of the car, started crying and called my mom. In that moment she didn't tell me to pull my crap together. She knew I wouldn't respond well to that kind of communication. Instead in a calm gentle voice, she talked me through possible scenarios, voiced some of the anxieties I was dealing with, helped me to relax, and encouraged me to go home.

It was that moment that helped me to understand that that is how Jesus communicates with me. He's not a drill sergeant, he knows I wouldn't respond to that type of communication. And he knows me better then my mom, so he knows what I will respond to best. He wants me to succeed. His voice is gentle, he'll walk me through it, he won't ever ask me to do it alone.

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