I'm 29. I've been 29 for a month now. But for some reason the thoughts, "you're almost 30, what have you accomplished?" have been far to frequent. To be honest, I've struggled with those thoughts. I've struggled with the fact that I don't have a typical career and I've had to constantly remind myself that I've never wanted a typical career. My dreams have always looked different then that. But I've had too many days of fighting the thoughts of unaccomplishment. I've never been interested in a typical career, but I don't necessarily feel accomplished in my dreams either.
I sat one morning with tears streaming down my cheeks with a pile of klennex next to me feeling like a failure. Those feelings are never any fun and those feelings NEVER come from Jesus. They come from a broken world were success is defined by accomplishments, and careers, and money. All things I've never really had much interest in.
Tyler is always there to champion me through my tears and since my cry fest happened in the morning it happened during our devotional time. Every morning we read Jesus Calling. And on this particular morning it was spot on.
"Remember that joy is not dependent on your circumstances. Some of the world's most miserable people are those whose circumstances seem the most enviable. People who reach the top of the ladder career-wise are often surprised to find emptiness awaiting them. True joy is a by-product of living in My Presence. Therefore you can experience it in palaces, in prisons... anywhere.
Do not judge a day as devoid of joy just because it contains difficulties. Instead, concentrate on staying in communication with Me. Many of the problems that clamor for your attention will resolve themselves. Other matters you must deal with, but I will help you with them. If you make problem solving secondary to the goal of living close to Me, you can find joy even in the most difficult days." - Jesus Calling
True joy is a product of living in the presence of Jesus. I live a wonderful life, full of amazing gifts that Jesus has provided me; an amazing husband, and lovely home, food in my fridge, nice things to put on, and time. I have the precious gift of time to take risks and go for the dreams Jesus has placed in my heart, accomplished or unaccomplished. I've never been one for the statues-quo. I've always been partial to challenging the "should be." And I've always been a free spirit.
But as this post began, I've been fighting back the lies of not being enough, of being unaccomplished. When I shake of the "should be's," of life and instead rest in the presence of Jesus, my joy is restored. It's not always easy and some days are harder then others, but JESUS. That's all that sentence needed, but Jesus. Because that's all we need, Jesus. And if there is nothing else I know, I know that Jesus makes me whole. I know that I am complete in Him. I know that He loves me and I am enough.
Shake of the "should be's" of this broken world. Shake off the feelings of unaccomplishment. Instead walk hand in hand with Jesus. Because no matter what each day brings you, we have victory in Him. xoxo! Samantha